expectations.

expectation:

–a belief that something will happen or is likely to happen.

–a feeling or belief about how successful, good, etc., someone or something will be.

expectations are a tricky thing. it’s exciting to imagine how things are going to work out — to envision how that date will go, or how the first day at a new job will turn out, or what it will feel like when that big future event, whatever it may be, finally arrives.

i remember all the times i’ve scripted how a conversation is going to go before it happens. i’ve usually created a screenplay of an event days or weeks in advance. but those scripts are typically written from the best possible scenario — which life doesn’t always seem to follow.

expectations aren’t inherently a bad thing, but they can lead to disappointment when they don’t match up to reality. the majority of difficult times in my life were not unbearably challenging because of the circumstances alone, but because it wasn’t what i thought should be happening, or how i wanted it to be, or what i believed i needed at the time.

there have been a few circumstances lately that haven’t seemed to match up to the expectations i created for myself — the story of how my life was supposed to go. and i’ve caused myself a lot of worry and unnecessary pain from holding on to those expectations too tightly, and believing that because reality wasn’t matching my expectations, that meant reality was wrong, not that my expectations were somehow faulty.

but i’m realizing (once again) that expectations are beliefs or feelings based on a limited amount of knowledge and understanding — they’re scripting a future that’s yet to be, and constructing a reality that isn’t necessarily from a perspective that can see the bigger picture.

so yes, i can write my own story about how things are meant to be, but i should be ready and willing to quickly throw the script away when life gives me something different than i anticipated.

because who said my expectations are how it’s supposed to be anyway?

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